OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Found your dick twin last night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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