we made out on top of his cat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
