Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
