the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize