1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
