We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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