what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Enjoy the penises
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
