She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
