she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
