lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
