if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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