I wanna bring you to show and tell
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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