Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
