and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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