One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
