Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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