Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize