nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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