As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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