Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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