Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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