Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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