my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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