the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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