Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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