No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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