How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize