Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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