So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
