Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
