remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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