Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
