you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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