Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
