I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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