im so drunk with asians
where?
always
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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