you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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