And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize