But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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