So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
