My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Vodka?
Forever.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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