i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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