Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
