some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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