Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
