Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you win again, gameday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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