If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
