I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
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Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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