He is an equal opportunity slut.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
