ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
