what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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