At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
