if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
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Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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