"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
