I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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