I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
