Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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