i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
