Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So apparently I’m into choking now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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