This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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